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Resilient Kids

10/03/2015

​10 tips for resilient kids

1.    Don’t accommodate every need – they can carry their own plate to the sink!
2.    Avoid eliminating all risk - Giving children age-appropriate freedom helps them learn their own limits. Your child will need to sit their own driving test one day.
3.    Teach them to problem-solve – “what can we do to stop the dog chewing your toys next time?”
4.    Teach your children concrete skills – How to answer the phone or doorbell is a good one.
5.    Avoid “why” questions – Arghh! Try “how” questions.
6.    Don’t provide all the answers – encourage problem solving!
7.    Avoid talking in catastrophic terms - instead of saying “It’s really important for you to learn how to swim because it’d be devastating to me if you drowned,” say, “It’s really important for you to learn how to swim.”
8.    Let your children make mistakes - let your children see the consequences of their actions.
9.    Help them manage their emotions - you might tell your child, “I understand that you feel that way. I’d feel the same way if I were in your shoes, but now you have to figure out what the next step is.”
10.  Finally, model resiliency - Of course, children also learn from observing their parents’ behaviours and actions. Try to be calm and consistent. You cannot say to a child you want them to control their emotions, while you yourself are flipping out.